Monday, October 31, 2011

Final exam results of the #BrewDiet

[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="240" caption="DSC_5774e by Zach Klein"]DSC_5774e by Zach Klein[/caption]

Well... that was that. Yesterday was the final day of one month of drinking beer and eating sausage. I called it the #BrewDiet. And it was a grand time. And it was for SCIENCE!

Thanks to all of you who encouraged me along the way. Extra thanks to those of you who contributed by sending me beer. Much appreciated!

OK, let's get right down to it.

Beers consumed:

  • 100 "uniques". That's a beer I've never had before. Or if I did, I hadn't yet put it into Untappd. I started at 308 uniques and ended today at 408. No, that wasn't planned. But I do appreciate the simple math.
  • ~154 total beers. Why the tilde in front? Because let's face it, there were plenty of evenings (like last Saturday) when not all the beers went into Untappd. I don't think I missed any uniques, but I know for a fact I missed plenty of beers. That, and many were bombers which classify as two. So I'm betting the number was closer to 200. 200/31 = 6.5 beers a day. Sounds about right.
  • ~62 sausages. Again with the tilde. Look... most days I had two. On rare occasion I had more than that. But for the first 6 days, I only had one. I'll count them later, as my blog posts have (I think) all of them. So for now, I'm going with the 2x31 for the answer. Expect a more accurate accounting (redundant?) when the book comes out. Yeah, there will be one.

OK, that's the intake. What about the results? I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. I know I was.

Weight Loss Stats

First, let's set the baseline.This is important to those of you keeping score at home. None of these things changed in the last 31 days:

Body Type: Standard
Gender: Male
Age: 43
Height: 5′10″ (though my license says 6′ even, because I am still a growing boy)

But here's what did change. I'll give you before and after numbers from the doc's fancy scale:

Original Weight: 199.0 lbs
Ending Weight: 185.1 lbs

Here, let me help you with that math: that's a loss of 13.5 pounds! Fuck it! I'm rounding up! 14 pounds LOST. Eating sausage and drinking beer!

But hey, that's just weight. We all know that weight changes with fluid. Is it all that surprising? Let's look at the rest of the numbers:

Original BMI: 28.6
BMI: 26.6

That's a net lost of 2 BMI. I'd be more excited, but I don't know what BMI means. But it's down by two, so that sounds  good to me. If you care, look it up. If you know, good for you! I don't care. Don't bother telling me in comments. Because I don't care.

Original Fat %: 25.3
Final Fat %: 21.4

OK, I'm smart enough to figure out percentages. That means that I lost 4% (rounding up, remember?) of my my mass as pure, nasty fat. That sounds pretty fantastic. And according to the "target" numbers on my doctor's fancy scale, that's within the "desirable range".

Didja here that? I'm desirable!

But let's not get ahead of ourselves. That Fat % number translates directly to fat mass:

Original Fat Mass: 50.5 lbs
Final Fat Mass: 39.5 lbs

If the word "fat mass" doesn't sound nasty to you, what the hell is wrong with you? I've dropped 11 pounds of fat mass! And if I were to travel to the moon, those 11 pounds of mass would still be gone! I love physics!

But you're not a physicist. You know what the scales tell you. And those scales would say something different on the moon. And I'm not likely to travel to the moon. Ever. Which kind of sucks. But I'll get over it. Why? Because I lost 14 pounds eating sausage and drinking beer, bitches!

Yeah, yeah... some of you want to know about my cholesterol, lipids, and other funky blood serum stuff. I'm going to let my doctor discuss those results. Suffice to say that I'm not dropping dead anytime soon. In fact, my panel looks better than when I started. No, I'm not kidding. Stay tuned for that.

What's next?

Keep it off, obviously. But that's a post for another day. I have some ideas... and this isn't over!

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