Monday, October 31, 2011

Final exam results of the #BrewDiet

[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="240" caption="DSC_5774e by Zach Klein"]DSC_5774e by Zach Klein[/caption]

Well... that was that. Yesterday was the final day of one month of drinking beer and eating sausage. I called it the #BrewDiet. And it was a grand time. And it was for SCIENCE!

Thanks to all of you who encouraged me along the way. Extra thanks to those of you who contributed by sending me beer. Much appreciated!

OK, let's get right down to it.

Beers consumed:

  • 100 "uniques". That's a beer I've never had before. Or if I did, I hadn't yet put it into Untappd. I started at 308 uniques and ended today at 408. No, that wasn't planned. But I do appreciate the simple math.
  • ~154 total beers. Why the tilde in front? Because let's face it, there were plenty of evenings (like last Saturday) when not all the beers went into Untappd. I don't think I missed any uniques, but I know for a fact I missed plenty of beers. That, and many were bombers which classify as two. So I'm betting the number was closer to 200. 200/31 = 6.5 beers a day. Sounds about right.
  • ~62 sausages. Again with the tilde. Look... most days I had two. On rare occasion I had more than that. But for the first 6 days, I only had one. I'll count them later, as my blog posts have (I think) all of them. So for now, I'm going with the 2x31 for the answer. Expect a more accurate accounting (redundant?) when the book comes out. Yeah, there will be one.

OK, that's the intake. What about the results? I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. I know I was.

Weight Loss Stats

First, let's set the baseline.This is important to those of you keeping score at home. None of these things changed in the last 31 days:

Body Type: Standard
Gender: Male
Age: 43
Height: 5′10″ (though my license says 6′ even, because I am still a growing boy)

But here's what did change. I'll give you before and after numbers from the doc's fancy scale:

Original Weight: 199.0 lbs
Ending Weight: 185.1 lbs

Here, let me help you with that math: that's a loss of 13.5 pounds! Fuck it! I'm rounding up! 14 pounds LOST. Eating sausage and drinking beer!

But hey, that's just weight. We all know that weight changes with fluid. Is it all that surprising? Let's look at the rest of the numbers:

Original BMI: 28.6
BMI: 26.6

That's a net lost of 2 BMI. I'd be more excited, but I don't know what BMI means. But it's down by two, so that sounds  good to me. If you care, look it up. If you know, good for you! I don't care. Don't bother telling me in comments. Because I don't care.

Original Fat %: 25.3
Final Fat %: 21.4

OK, I'm smart enough to figure out percentages. That means that I lost 4% (rounding up, remember?) of my my mass as pure, nasty fat. That sounds pretty fantastic. And according to the "target" numbers on my doctor's fancy scale, that's within the "desirable range".

Didja here that? I'm desirable!

But let's not get ahead of ourselves. That Fat % number translates directly to fat mass:

Original Fat Mass: 50.5 lbs
Final Fat Mass: 39.5 lbs

If the word "fat mass" doesn't sound nasty to you, what the hell is wrong with you? I've dropped 11 pounds of fat mass! And if I were to travel to the moon, those 11 pounds of mass would still be gone! I love physics!

But you're not a physicist. You know what the scales tell you. And those scales would say something different on the moon. And I'm not likely to travel to the moon. Ever. Which kind of sucks. But I'll get over it. Why? Because I lost 14 pounds eating sausage and drinking beer, bitches!

Yeah, yeah... some of you want to know about my cholesterol, lipids, and other funky blood serum stuff. I'm going to let my doctor discuss those results. Suffice to say that I'm not dropping dead anytime soon. In fact, my panel looks better than when I started. No, I'm not kidding. Stay tuned for that.

What's next?

Keep it off, obviously. But that's a post for another day. I have some ideas... and this isn't over!

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Last (?) day of the #BrewDiet



[caption id="" align="alignright" width="180" caption="smile by Miles Bader"]smile by Miles Bader[/caption]

If you've been following me on Facebook or Twitter, you already know the score. I'm a very, very happy man.

If you're not following me there, then you'll have to wait for the final results. Because in this post, all I'm going to do is tell you about my intake. They call this "cliffhanging". Deal. The other post will be out  tomorrow AM.

And that's it! Or is it? Tune in tomorrow AM for another installment of... #BrewDiet!

Oh, and Happy Halloween!

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Sunday, October 30, 2011

Slow moving Sunday.


[caption id="" align="alignright" width="100" caption="Project 365 Day 16: The Drugs Don't Work by Greg McMullin"]Project 365 Day 16: The Drugs Don't Work by Greg McMullin[/caption]

Short day. Short post. Read about yesterday to find out why.

And I'm spent. Literally. Here's to tomorrow. The last day (?) of the #BrewDiet.

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Saturday, October 29, 2011

Halloween party on the #BrewDiet!


[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="250" caption="Me, my lovely wife Sheila, and Ruthie"][/caption]

Today was our Halloween party. Knowing that, I should have planned better. In hindsight, I know I should have. But I didn't, which isn't all that surprising.

If this is your first time reading my #BrewDiet posts, please understand that this day is rather atypical of the 28 days that have come before.

But hey, it was a party. So party we must. And did.

That's me on the left, dressed as a fairy hunter. Why a fairy hunter? Because my wife dressed like a fairy. An I had to hunt for her. I guess. And say hi to Ruthie on the other side. As a non-drinker, she has mad patience to show up and hang out with us sots. Or maybe we just provide ample entertainment that serves to validate her decision not to drink!

Here's the rundown on my intake:

The party was pretty epic. Thanks to everyone who came out. Assuming we're still talking, that is.

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Friday, October 28, 2011

Igniting zombified Zeppelins on the #BrewDiet

[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="200" caption="Flamenco chick, dead baby in a Baggie, & Gumby. Happy #Halloween!"][/caption]

Fridays are always fun days on the #BrewDiet. Typically that's because of #evfn, where more than the normal amount of drinking ensues. This day was fun for a few different reasons.

First, it was our company Halloween party. Half a day at work -- in costume -- then a beer and bratwurst party! Was that a special concession for me? Probably. Very much so. The

Second, it was Ignite Phoenix #11. And yes, I'm an unabashed fan of Ignite. Since I wasn't presenting, I could have a beer. And enjoy some sort of sausage feast from Short Leash. No idea what I had. I told the guy to pick for me. It was damned tasty!

Then after Ignite, we were off to take in a zombified Zeppelin cover band. No, not kidding. Hey it's Halloween weekend! Beer at places like this suck by and large, so the pickings are slim. But I made due and we had a good time with more of our friends.

The break down of my intake:

Saturday night is our own Halloween party. I shall do my level best to track the fun!

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Thursday, October 27, 2011

Spooky ending to the #BrewDiet in sight


[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="180" caption="Tunnel Vision by KO_Photos"][/caption]

It's going to be a busy end to the #BrewDiet. Tomorrow is Ignite Phoenix, plus a concert featuring a friend of mine. Zombies, from what I understand, will be the norm. Prior to that, I'm doing my best to draw the ire of Human Resources, wearing ostensibly one of the more offending costumes. Ever. Pics tomorrow. Or whenever I get around to posting pics of tomorrow. It's a busy day.

Saturday we're hosting a combination Halloween party and going-away party for our house. The kid is moving out, so it's time to downsize. I'll enjoy the savings, as well as the less cavernous feel. So it's lodging-hunting in the AM, party at night. A different costume, for this. Less offensive. Still a bit odd.

Sunday should prove fairly normal. Meeting on ePublishing things, then playing catchup on the loss of productivity on Saturday. And quite possibly nursing a hangover. Wonder how that will be on the #BrewDiet? I'll let you know.

And then there is Monday, the final day of the month. It's also the official Halloween, and my team at work are dressing up. Again. With difference costumes. Themed. And it's my day to see the doc the final time, with a final check-in of my stats.

But don't fret. I have a feeling you'll be seeing more of the #BrewDiet. I don't think we're quite done.

Regardless, you've got four more posts from me coming. Then probably a fifth telling you what my plans are. This should be interesting.

My intake for Thursday:

Sweet dreams and bitter beer!

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Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Eye to the future of the #BrewDiet


[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="180" caption="Free Beer Tomorrow by Infrogmation of New Orleans"][/caption]

After today, there will be five more entries chronicling my month-long experiment of eating sausage and drinking beer. The end, as they say, is neigh.

At this point, it's a foregone conclusion that I'll finish. It's not been challenging since October 6th. That was a Very Bad Day. But now, my body has completely adapted and continues to shed weight. More importantly, FAT. Hell, look at my daily intake below! Two sausages and four beers? That's an incredibly low calorie count.

So what's next? Do I keep going, finding the equilibrium point? I can't continue to lose weight on this diet. There exists a point of diminishing returns. If not, I'd be below my birth weight by next Thanksgiving! (Do the math).

Or do I stick with the low-volume eating (call it caloric restriction if you like), adding in foods I've missed, like pizza. But instead of a whole pie (not all that uncommon previously), have only a slice? But will I be able to keep up the protein level that keeps my doctor grinning? Oh, and my muscle tissue from not being devoured for nourishment.

Maybe I keep the beer intake and mix in the idea of small portions, to see what happens? Do I switch over to scotch? Sake? Maybe mixed drinks of equal impact?

It's a damned fine question. And one I guess I'd better figure out in the next five days, huh?

Here's what I did on my #BrewDiet today:

Here's to tomorrow!

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Tuesday, October 25, 2011

"Your diet would never work for me"


[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="240" caption="No beer here :( by Chris"][/caption]

I've heard that a few times now. And it puzzles me. Sure, I know I'm a sample size of one. And because of that, I may be a statistical outlier. But if you know anything about stats, you know the odds say something different. Outliers are things you find in a large sample size. I haven't tried this before. I tried it once. And it worked. Is there a chance I'm a fluke? Sure. But you'd be a fool to bet that way.

Invariably -- and this may get a little on the sensitive side -- the people who have said this to me have been overweight. And oddly enough, they've all been women.

The first part I get. People who are overweight have probably been through more than one "lose weight fast" scheme before. And they've all -- obviously -- failed. So here's one more idiot with what ostensibly looks like the novel-est of novelty diets ever. If that crazy diet lauded over by thousands didn't work for me, there's no way this one can. I get it.

The latter is stranger, but could simply be explained by machismo. Boys are supposed to like beer and sausage. Girls are not. No offense, Bavarian Babes, but that's the way it's done over here. So some of the immediate incredulity could have to do with gonads. Who knows?

But here's what I know;  this isn't rocket surgery. I'm not losing weight because I'm drinking beer and eating sausage. I'm losing weight because I'm eating less. The data I'm collecting will ultimately demonstrate that even foods considered "unhealthy" are perfectly fine as long as they are consumed in moderation. I can't say that all calories are or are not created equal. But I what I can say is that it sure as hell doesn't look like calories from beer and sausage are all that bad for you.

But the again, our data collection of this experiment isn't over. Speaking of that...

Four beers? Wow. That can't be much more than 1400  calories for the day. And I'm not hungry. Nifty! Thank you, #BrewDiet!

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Monday, October 24, 2011

Sausage + Beer = -2 lbs. of pure fat. Losing again!

Monday is check-in day with the doc. It always makes me nervous, and this time was no exception. Largely because of the stupid amount of food I ate yesterday. But still, that was only one day, so only the scales will tell.

Oh, and what a sweet song they sang! The details:

Body Type: Standard
Gender: Male
Age: 43
Height: 5′10″ (though my license says 6′ even, because I am still a growing boy)
Weight: 188.5 lbs (2 lbs. down from last week!)
BMI: 27.3 (down  another .3 things. Of what? Dunno...)
Fat %: 22.7% (down almost a point from 23.5%!)
Fat Mass: 43.01 lbs (2 lbs. fat, GONE!)

To say I'm a happy camper would be an understatement. I can't remember the last time I was under 190. A decade, at least.

This is going really, really well. Were I a superstitious man, I'd wonder when the other shoe was dropping. But I'm not, and I'm doing all the right things -- even when those right things go against conventional wisdom -- so I'm happy to keep things going.

I've noticed an interesting banter among people when they learn of my success. I think I'll save that for tomorrow. Here's the intake for those playing along at home:

Good night!

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Sunday, October 23, 2011

Sunday, with sausage on the #BrewDiet!

I ate way too much food today.

Headed to a late-morning meeting, my belly commanded a stop at Doggie-bertos. You had me at Chorizo Burrito!

Then we went to Citizen Public House again in Old Town Scottsdale. They've taken the Sausage of the Day off the menu, but were happy to adapt to my dietary restrictions with a plate full of sausage (and maybe other) goodness!

Also, it pays to know folks. Got introduced to Richie at CPH by Dan, while the mural you see above was being painted on the outside. That led to a bit of special treatment by the CPH staff, for which I am quite grateful! Significant thanks to our friends Susan & Paul from Los Angeles for spending a great evening with us.

That's my kind of Sunday on the #BrewDiet! Here's the intake:

Tomorrow I visit Terry's office again. I'll have weight results tweeting out mid-afternoon, and a blog post coming!

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Saturday, October 22, 2011

ASH event on the #BrewDiet

Today was the Arizona Society of Homebrewers Oktoberfest event. Holy. Cattle.

I finally signed up for ASH, though I'm not a home brewer and have no intentions of becoming one. But ASH is a an organization worth supporting. And as a member, I get to go to their events and drink their beer. SCORE!

Here's how today went:

  • Show up
  • Start drinking
  • Keep drinking
  • Eat a sausage
  • Get the wife to pick you up.

Awesome. Dozens of home brews that you just saddle up to, pour, and enjoy. Some were fantastic, and all were very drinkable. Such is the kind of club ASH is: these guys are about as pro-sumer as you get.

I fielded lots of "hey didn't I see you last night on TV?" questions, or affirmed the "Oh, you're the guy drinking beer and eating sausage this month" comments. I was by no means a celebrity at this even that drew in hundreds, but it was nice to be recognized.

I didn't even bother trying to keep up on Untapped. I tried no less than 20 beers, meads and various items tonight. Quantities ranged from sips to pints. 2 sausages for the day, and that was it. You'll forgive this post, as I'm a little toasted and need to watch some college football to let it mellow out.

And I've got the sausage from last night's TV spot cooking. Going to be a great week!

Television clip features #BrewDiet & my doctor

Here's the video clip from my feature on 3TV last night. They interviewed my doctor for part of it, so you can see that we really are doing this for science! And beer.

Thanks to Carey Pena for coming out and getting #BrewDiet a little more exposure!

Friday, October 21, 2011

You, me, TV and the #BrewDiet

Tonight I was interviewed by the lovely Carey Pena, investigative reporter and fantastic woman on 3TV here in Phoenix. She came to ShEvo Studios with Jeremy The Camera Guy and did a big photo shoot that will show up on the news in about 30 minutes. Yay! And just as soon as it's available online, I'll tweet and Facebook it to the world.

So here I sit, post-#evfn, post-TV interview and trying to figure out what we're doing tonight. That is completely controlled by the women-folk in my life, so I'm calling it short.

Here's what I drank/ate tonight:

And now, in theory, I'm off to dance. Tomorrow I'm drinking with the Arizona Society of Homebrewers. That'll be interesting.



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Thursday, October 20, 2011

Too much of the #BrewDiet?

Thursday should be an awesome day of productivity for me after work. My lovely wife, Sheila Dee, teaches classes all day and night at a University, and doesn't return until around 9:00. So you'd think that a 9-to-5 wonk like me would get a lot of stuff done.

Except when you factor in Thursday. That's O'Beer:30 at my office. My whole team takes an hour-ish and heads down to the Mellow Mushroom below us to have a couple of pints. Well... that's not true.  The Mushroom does 1/2 off drinks on Thursdays from 3-6p, so we all splurge and have 20 oz. pours. A couple of times.

And I just discovered that ASH -- the Arizona Society of Homebrewers -- hits Taste of Tops just a block away from me for happy hour. So, being neighborly, I had to stop in. Had to, mind you.

Yeah... I'm kinda done for tonight. With luck, the typos are minimal in this post. Here's why:

So I'm kinda done. Here's to a good night's sleep and a fab day tomorrow!


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Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Missing moobs on a #BrewDiet


[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="180" caption="Not me... or my missing moobs."][/caption]

As it turns out, I've lost my moobs. Well... maybe not all of them. But they are significantly reduced in size. Wore a t-shirt today that hasn't been flattering in at least a year. Hey, it may still not be all that flattering, but at least there isn't an awning-like overhang between it and my belt.

And speaking of my belt, I moved it up a notch today. That's up, as in tighter. I've got fairly bony hips and no ass to speak of, but something changed, as I was hiking up my drawers all day long. Up one notch tighter on the belt and problems solved. I may go shopping this weekend for 32s!

My son turned 20 today. Happy birthday, NJ. I hope you and your mother enjoyed the sushi I couldn't eat. Not very nice of you. But I love you and expect you to wipe my ass when I'm 90.

Here's what I consumed today:

Tomorrow is O'beer:30 at the office. Who knows what it will bring? All hail the #BrewDiet!

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Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Death of a #BrewDieter

No, it wasn't a literal death. And no, it wasn't me!

But tonight, I was saddened to see this tweet by fellow ex-#BrewDiet follower, Charlie the Beer Guy:

Charlie hit the wall later in the process than I. He also had arguably a much more difficult challenge. He's in a profession rhymes with "rule leacher", and they rather frown on day-drinking. So he didn't, which reduced the number of hours he had to consume 6-8 beers. So it is with a heavy heart that we bid Charlie adieu. Guess I'll just have to bike over to his place and help him get rid of all those extra beers!

Me? I'm doing great! Still very up from my doctors appointment, and I've seen a sneak preview of the documentary video that's being assembled  by the fantastic April Simpson. She's made of awesome, so it's made of a similar element! We'll be adding more clips, so I can't show you the final product just yet. But trust me, you're going to love it!

I took another blood test today at about the halfway mark of this month. Terry said my pre-diet levels looked good. I'm not sharing them just yet because I want this set -- and maybe a post-diet set -- to compare them with. By themselves, some uneducated asshole would jump in and start arguing why this number is high and that number is low... and I want to avoid that bullshit. We're interested in a change over time, not what any single reference point looks like. That's why I've been doing weekly check-ins on the weight, fat mass, etc.. When it's time, we'll talk blood serum levels.

For now? It's time for today's stats, again courtesy of Untappd:

That's it. A few loose ends to tie up, and I'm calling it a night. A low calorie day, really. But I'm plenty full!

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Monday, October 17, 2011

Losing never felt so good on the #BrewDiet

Last week, when I saw my doctor for my weekly check-in, I had lost no weight but did drop 4.5 lbs. of fat. By eating sausage and drinking beer, which are the tenets of the #BrewDiet. To which my doctor replied:

So for those people who say beer makes you fat; fuck 'em.

I love my doctor. $20 says you don't get that sort of straight shooting talk from yours!

This week I'm celebrating continued victory. The vitals:

Body Type: Standard
Gender: Male
Age: 43
Height: 5′10″ (though my license says 6′ even, because I am still a growing boy)
Weight: 190.51 lbs (2.5 lbs. down from last week!)
BMI: 27.3 (down .4... numbers? Whatever this means.)
Fat %: 23.5 22.9% (oddly enough, that's up from 22.9% the week before. .6% isn't a lot, and it's probably measurement error.)
Fat Mass: 45.01 lbs (again that's up from the 44.1 lbs measured last week)

The nascent scientist in me is interested in those increasing fat numbers. And not in a good way. But that sub-personality is way overshadowed by the boy screaming "I've lost nine fucking pounds drinking beer and eating sausage! W00t!"

So I'm going to ignore the fluctuating fat for a while. We're 1/2 the way though this experiment. If Terry has something to say about it, I'll let him. Other wise, I'm going to have another beer. Tomorrow. It's late.

Here's my intake for the day:

I'm calling it early tonight. Nice day, I think!

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Sunday, October 16, 2011

Of Sundays, sausage and beer

It's day 16 on my #BrewDiet. I'm more than half-way through the month. And I'm doing fantastic!

People keep asking me about the deleterious effects of a diet consisting of nothing but sausage and beer for an entire month. An in all honesty, there really haven't been any. I do notice pretty severe dry mouth at night. But that's easily defeated by keeping water on the nightstand. Wake up. Drink. Sleep. Easy.

Nor am I sick of eating sausage. Or drinking beer. The variations of both are legion. So if boredom does sit in, I just pick up something out of the ordinary. Like when I was at the store today and picked up some sausage that I've been craving. Oh, it's going to be a great week coming up!

Today was my lowest beer-intake day ever. That's due to a rather uncharacteristic breakfast, as you'll see below:

So that's two (ish) sausage meals and only 4 (ish) beers. Pretty light. Tomorrow is weigh-in day. Here's to hoping!

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Mixed bag Saturday on the #BrewDiet

Image from NewsOK. They didn't give me permission to use it, but it's damn good! Here's to hoping they don't sue me.Saturday on the #BrewDiet was marked by two disappointing beers, a heart-burn inducing performance by my college football team, and one of the most challenging movies ever.

The bad beers: Shock Top and Oktoberfestier. Read about them below. They have a huge following. I'm in the minority because I do not like them. But I do not like them. Not even a little. But a friend of mine does, so he got a five-pack of the Shock Tops. And the other wasn't even mine to begin with.

The lackluster performance was made by The University of Oklahoma Sooners. It's a good thing I had a birthday party and a movie to go to so I couldn't see the debacle of our terribly-inconsistent-on-the-road team. We pulled it out in the end, but the spread should have been much greater. Gods, I love/hate college football.

And the movie: The Human Centipede 2. Hey, don't judge. I really enjoyed the first movie. And yes, it holds up under multiple viewings. But this? No. Once was enough. Vile isn't strong enough of a word. I'm not upset that I went, as I'm a complete-ist. People were wondering how the director would top the first one. This is how. But it was more of a "bottoming" than a topping. Wow. You probably don't want to see it.

Here is my beer/food rundown for the day:

Wow. Well... it was Saturday, so I'm not all that surprised. And in hindsight (I'm posting this on Sunday), I feel great!

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Friday, October 14, 2011

Boundary Bay Brewing gets it right on a #BrewDiet

Friday is always a good day on the #BrewDiet. This one was even better, as I only worked until about noon. Making up for that terrible long day on Wednesday that we're just going to forget about, OK?

Major props to Boundary Bay Brewery. They hold the distinction of being the first and (as of yet) only brewery to reach out to me on social channels, thanking me for including their beers in my #BrewDiet. These guys are smart and paying attention to the social space. They didn't offer to send me beer or ask for a testimonial from me. They simply chimed in on one of my (drunkenly misspelled) checkins from yesterday:

Easy. And smart. Our replies went back and forth a couple of times, and they got exposure to everyone who follows my antics. Many of whom are craft beer drinkers. Their target audience. And you can bet the next time I find myself in Bellingham, I'm stopping to knock a few back at BB!

Here's what I did today:

Saturday is college football day, which typically increases my beer count. Let's see what happens!

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Thursday, October 13, 2011

O'Beer:30 Thursday meets #BrewDiet

Today was a good day to drink beer and eat sausage. All hail #BrewDiet!

Though it started out terrible. I've been up since 3:30AM. Yeah. That sucks. Couldn't go back to sleep. So I got up and posted on A Simpler Way about Podcamp AZ. Though I won't be talking (specifically) about beer, you should come. It's in November. And I promise you that my November can beat the shit out of your November.

Let's do the beer and food first:

And now... I'm fading fast. I stayed up this late doing updates for Man... the chance of me making major screw-ups there are legion this month. So far, they've only been minor. I hope.

So I'm off to bed. As I said, it was a good day. Tomorrow is Friday, and I think I'm taking a half-day to eat up the hours I spent at the office yesterday. And remember: I rarely post on Friday nights. It's #evfn after all, and there's more than my normal amount of drinking involved. I'll see you Saturday morning sometime.


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Wednesday, October 12, 2011

A monorchromatic #BrewDiet kind of day

I just spent over 12 hours at work, after a two days of being "on" at conferences. Anything I might attribute to the #BrewDiet is equally explained by anger and animosity.

So I'm not good company. With that, here's what I consumed today. I'll shoot for "more chatty" tomorrow:

Monochromatic day, and it's still a damned good beer. Which is the best thing I can say about today.

Good night.

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Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Of smuggling sausages and beers

Well that was interesting! As you know, my work is way-OK with me and the #BrewDiet. My day-job is in advertising, and our industry has a history of the three-martini lunch with clients. We don't do that in 2011, but there's no violation if I have a beer at lunch. And breakfast, it seems.

But today was a little different. Huge off-site with 50+ individual representatives from our client roster. A catered breakfast and lunch in the ballroom rendered me cracking open a beer and whipping out a sausage from my briefcase rather inappropriate.

Fortunate for me, one of the client's (more that a representative: this guy is the client), somehow heard of my diet. He met me at the door with a surreptitiously wrapped turkey sausage smuggled from the breakfast bar! He said he had a beer up in his room. I told him I had a beer in my briefcase. I don't think he believed me. That's OK. I didn't believe him!

Lunch almost worked. A paella, which is traditionally (at least in Arizona) served with chorizo. But in this version, the chorizo was an afterthought, and it would have taken me way too long to pick out just the sausage. And since the chorizo isn't the central part of the dish, I considered that cheating.

So I snuck out the parking lot with lunch kit (yeah, hidden previously in my briefcase), downed a G'Knight and ate half a jalapeno & cheddar sausage. Chomped on a few sticks of Trident and slipped back in undetected.

In my next life, I'm gonna be a double-naught spy!

No one was the wiser. At least I don't think so. If I show up tomorrow with a pink slip on my desk, you'll know differently. Here's how today played out, minus the drama listed above:

That's it. Though some out-of-town friends just showed up with a six pack. Work could suck tomorrow. Ciao!

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Monday, October 10, 2011

Does beer you make fat? Quite the contrary, data shows.

More great news from the doctor 10 days in on the #BrewDiet, where I subsist on nothing but1 sausage and beer for the month of October. Survey says...

Body Type: Standard
Gender: Male
Age: 43
Height: 5′10″ (though my license says 6′ even, because I am still a growing boy)
Weight: 193.01 lbs (exactly the same as last week)
BMI: 27.7 (exactly the same as last week)
Fat %: 22.9% (that's 2.1% down from last week, the biggest shift yet!)
Fat Mass: 44.01 lbs (that's down 4.5 pounds! Huge!)

Those data in bold are fantastic! My weight is staying exactly the same, but fat conversion is happening at a great rate!

How much can I convert? Hard to say. Well, for me. Terry probably knows. His fancy scale tells me that my fat percentage should be somewhere between 11-22%. I'm almost at the high end of that range. Can I get to the middle? Maybe. Probably, even. But I think the low-end is an unrealistic goal for me. I've never been what you'd call svelt, so getting down to 11% will probably require sacrifices and commitments I'm not ready to make.

I still have a couple of more pounds of fat mass to shed before hitting in at the top end of the desirable range. It says I can go all the way down to 18.5 pounds of fat mass, but see my holy-shit-that-sounds-like-hard-work innuendo above.

This is going great. Here's a rundown of my consumption for the day:

Tomorrow is tricky. I have an off-site client meeting all damned day long. I may have to smuggle a sausage and beer into the bathroom when no one is looking. Make your own jokes.

I'll tell you how it goes tomorrow.

1 - And by "nothing but", you can assume that I'm taking other liquids, like coffee, yerba mate and water. Nothing with sugar or calories, though. And if the sausage happens to be presented in it's natural habitat, like with sauerkraut or on a bed of peppers and onions, it's possible that some (many) of those will be consumed. But I leave off the side dishes. That's cheating.

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Sunday, October 9, 2011

I'll see your Vienna Sausage and raise it a Tapatio on #BrewDiet

I'm marking today's #BrewDiet in the WIN column. Loads of things to do, and all of them done smashingly well, fueled on nothing but beer and sausage.

The highlight of the day had to be Ruth's I-passed-the-bar celebration where her mom made me a special sausage dish... by opening up me a can of Vienna sausages! They paired nicely with some Tapatio hot sauce, oddly enough.

The next two days will be a bit of challenge. I've got a conference to attend tomorrow and clients to entertain the day after that. Expect massive smuggling to get me through the coming days!

Also, I check in with The Good Doctor tomorrow, so I'll report back on my (or rather his) findings. Here's how today shook out:

Great stuff!


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Return of the #BrewDieter

Where was I? Oh yes, hitting the wall. Hard. Who would have thought there would be difficulty in a nothing-but-beer-and-sausage diet?

Oh, right... You people.

But that's OK. My diet. My rules. I am by no means a masochist (sadism is another thing entirely), so a minor tweak to the diet has me back in the game with a vengeance!

Remember that we're doing this for science (and my love of beer and sausage), and that my observations along the way will help in the hypothesis Terry and I put forward. With that...

Observation number 1

All calories are not the same. Not to my body, or at least not to my brain that is telling me how my body feels. Months ago, I restricted my diet to around 1500 calories a day, simply by eating much smaller portions. Last week, I had more calories than that every day, sometimes over 500 more. Back then, I only noticed a slight nagging hunger. The hunger I felt last week was by no means slight, and nagging turned into hard-core bitching. That, and I felt like shit. Very much not right. Even with more calories.

So it's not the calories. It could be the increased caffeine. It could the increased beer consumption. But I can feel the effects of those when they hit. They tend to be short lived. I don't think that's it. Here's why:

Thursday night, I gave into my cravings and ate more than 1/2 of a sausage. I ate two sausages. And I ate the accompanying sourkraut. I skipped the potatoes offered, feeling that as more a side-dish that didn't quite fit.

I slept like a baby that night. And I didn't wake up ravenous. First time in a week.

Not to let a good lead die, I grabbed on to the idea and ran with it. The next day for lunch, I ate my normal 1/2 sausage. But rather than scarfing it down in 5 minutes and returning to work. I sat there, chatted with some folks, and took another half hour to slowly eat the second half. That's new for me. I'm a speed-eater, as anyone can tell you.

At around 5:00 that night, I consumed another half a sausage. That filled me up nicely. And then around 7:30 that night, I ate the rest of that 2nd sausage. And as you'll notice below, the beer-intake Friday was relatively low, considering it was #evfn.

And again, I slept like a baby. No waking up in the middle of the night with food cravings. Victory!

Tour de #BrewDiet

On Saturday, I fried up some maple breakfast sausage and settled into an early-AM session of drinking. The University of Oklahoma Sooners were in the Red River Shootout game against the University of Texas Long Horns. This is one of THE classic rivalries in college football. I'm heavily vested in one side winning. Because #texassucks. I had one beer per quarter and (eventually) four sausage patties. And OU kicked the snot out of Texas. Why? Because #texassucks.

Glowing in the post-game (and 4 beer) buzz, I crawled on the Strida and headed over to fellow #BrewDieter Charlie's house. He then saddled up on his Strida, and we hauled our two over-the-hill bodies the 4.6 miles to The Watering Hole at Whole Foods. Every Saturday, every pour of beer is $4, which is a smoking deal. We both notched up a couple of uniques, started to talk about food options, and biked another 3.3 miles to Flanny's. Both of the Johns were happy to see us and fully aware of #BrewDiet. So much, in fact, that Big John went completely off-menu, preparing for us a sausage appetizer and main course that we thoroughly enjoyed. LJ played "stump the beer drinkers", choosing one of his tap selections for us before we saw the menu. We recorded it on my iPhone and, if the quality is acceptable, we'll release it. Who knows? It may be the kick-start of a new beer podcast featuring Charlie and me.

Biking, beating Texas, great beers and a reinforcement of how fun the #BrewDiet can be. That's what I call a good weekend.

#Brew Diet Stats for the last few days:



And then I went to sleep at 8:00p, crashing out for 12 glorious hours. Looking at the list above, I see why!

#BrewDiet continues. I'll write another post tonight to get today's stats in the system. Tomorrow I check back in with the doc. I'll report on my stats as well as a rundown on my bloodwork. Here's to doctor-supervised craziness!


Thanks to those of you who've offered to send me sausage and beer. I'm having an ongoing fight with the shitty business that houses my mail box. If you are sending me something, get a tracking number and send it to me. I have very little confidence in their ability to get anything right. I eventually get my things, but I'd hate for something to spoil while I wait on them.

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