Debut novelist kills first-time sushi chef

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I engaged in an interesting experiment today. And now that I'm done wanting to bang my head against the sharp corner of my desk, I find  the results interesting.

This started with me seeing an ad for a terrible-looking book with a terrible-sounding title with terribly-written teaser copy and a terribly-illustrated cover¹. And if that wasn't enough, the words "DEBUT NOVELIST" were proudly on display.

Ugh.

By now you know that I'm deeply involved in yet another publishing initiative, this time focused on training/educating authors on the new digital publishing landscape of today. Glutton for punishment? That's me.

And it was with that eye that I realized: authors and publishers have imbued the word debut with legendary status. I've seen that word -- or heard that word -- associated with new books by new authors countless times.

The amazing debut novel from... Ground-breaking  work by debut novelist...

The marketer in me² couldn't let it go. Was that word somehow a trigger that publishers and authors have learned enhances the purchasing response? Would adding the word "debut" to a book somehow increase the chance of someone deciding to purchase the book?

So I did the only logical thing that a skeptic would do: I ran the most unscientific test I could devise in the 3.4 seconds I thought about it. I asked FACEBOOK!

My first attempt was met with abject failure. I asked the following question:

Dumb-ass me. I of course got plenty of answers like "A" and "B". [sigh] So I resolved to re-write the question in somewhat of a less ambiguous way. Hence my new missive:

This time I learned an interesting and valuable lesson: People don't fucking read! Not that they don't read books, mind you. They just don't read questions well. Or rather, they try and anticipate some hidden meaning behind your question. Worse still, they play out a whole conspiratorial scene in their head, crafting their answer as to somehow keep them in good graces with whatever group might read too much into the answer.

Just. Answer. The. Fucking. Question!

Yes, I had an answer I was trying to get to, you idiot! But it was not whether or not I see value in a new authors work. Nor was I trying to infer that you should only stick to the books you know. Nor do I give a shit about how many new authors you discovered because you took the chance on an unknown. News flash, dipshit: I've done the same fucking thing! As I said before:

Just. Answer. The. Fucking. Question!

So I decided to show just how inane the answers were. Because really, in no other purchasing decision I can think of is it ever, EVER, beneficial to shout out to the masses, "Holy hatshit, folks! Hurry up and give me all your money while I'm new, clueless and PERFECT, 'cuz I'll be worth dick-squat when I take a second swing!"

That just doesn't happen. And to prove my point, I sent out this slightly tweaked question to the Facebookers who have the bad sense to follow me:

Yes. That is the point I was trying to make. You dumb-ass, you. And to drive it home more, there's this:

Authors and publishers: Please, pretty please, with sugar on it. Stop adding the word "debut" to your books. I already know I don't know you. You're not helping things telling me it's your first book. You may think that is somehow a buying signal, especially if you read the comments left on my status updates. But I assure you this: all of those people are lying. Through their teeth. Don't get me wrong. They have the best intentions at heart and do not even know that they are lying. Kinda like many psychics. But it's a lie none the same.

Write. Get better. Write again. Rinse. Repeat. Publish as soon as you can, for a back-catalog is key. But stop putting a barrier to entry on me trying out your book. It's great that it's your first book. Impress your mom with that shit. Me? I just want you to be a decent writer. Telling me you're new at this doesn't tempt me to buy. It just makes me think you probably suck. So icks-nay on the oobie-nu-ay, OK?

 

^{1 - No, I won't put you through the trauma of showing you the book. I've wiped it from my memory. You are welcome.}

^{2 - Don't hate, motherfuckers. It puts food on the table and I'm not evil.}

Give the gift of Expert Podcasting Practices for Dummies

First, thanks to everyone who bought the book. This isn't a sales pitch, I promise. In fact, it's the opposite. I find myself with about about dozen copies of EPPfD here on my desk. These are copies I am provided by the publisher to do with as I see fit. I've given away those that I want to give away, and have more here than I know what to do with.

Since I no longer have a podcast or really any public venue with which to give these away, I'm turning them over to you. Many of you reading this have your own podcast, show... or whatever. Would you like to give away one of my books as a prize or incentive? Bip me ahead of time so we can work out the logistics. I'd hate for 50 of you to offer them up only to discover that they are already spoken for.

You know how to reach me. If not, check my Contacts page.

The New Expert Podcasting Practices for Dummies is here! The New Expert Podcasting Practices for Dummies is here!

The New Expert Podcasting Practices for Dummies is here!

Originally uploaded by evo_terra

Based on comment I I saw on Twitter yesterday, I'm guessing I failed to put the news out about this months ago.

My bad.

If you've seen it in stores, let me know. I've checked the big chains around me and have had zero luck. Heard from someone in Australia also having trouble. Maybe the "expert" books don't sell so well in the stores, and you have to get it online?

Special thanks to Ryan Williams for stepping in and covering a few chapters for me when life got in the way.

EPPfD 25% complete!

As of early this morning, Tee and I have knocked out 13 chapters of the new book. We're just on schedule and hope to get ahead some over these next four weeks. I tackled some of my tougher chapters up front and am starting to get in a groove.

We've also received our first batch of feedback from our incredibly helpful editor, Kim Darosett, on the first to chapters. It's exactly what I wanted to hear from here: add a little more here, show me a picture of this, break this into steps, use this formatting. We worked with Kim on Podcasting for Dummies and I was stoked when she was picked to help us again.

So with that, I have more writing to do!

Three down, 48 to go!

Last night I knocked out Practice #1 and got about halfway through #3 in the forthcoming title Expert Podcasting Practices for Dummies. I'm a bit behind, as need to have (after #3 is finished) and additional three Practices in the can to meet my deadline on Monday. So I'm a little stressed.

Hey, does anyone know a cool feature that lets you track your progress on a book and embed it in a WP blog? I think it would make a great side bar so you could follow the development process. Of course, I'd need to have Tee send me stuff when he finishes... or I could just mark the Practices he's responsible for as "Not mine" or something.

EPPfD Chapter 2 delivered!

I'm on a roll having delivered the 2nd chapter practice of Expert Podcasting Practices for Dummies to our editor Kim. woot!

It may be the 2nd chapter practice in the book sequentially, but it's the first one I've turned in. I think that's what I like so much about this format -- if I don't feel like writing what is "next", I can just move on to another when the mood strikes me.

With that, once more into the breach, as I have one more to finish tonight to meet the deadline.

Writing the new book and off like a hurd of turtles

EPPfD Cover

Today marks the second day of the actual writing of Expert Podcasting Practices for Dummies, my sophomore effort as a "real writer" and the follow-up to the wildly successful Podcasting for Dummies. Tee Morris is once again shouldering half the burden with me on this title and his sage advice and knowledge of the publishing world from the author POV will no doubt once again prove invaluable.

I'm a lot less further along than I thought I would be at this point. Maybe I have over estimated the speed at which the words might flow from my brain to electron via the hand-to-keyboard interface. Or maybe I have under estimated the amount of effort I'd need to put forth. My money is on a healthy combination of both of those.

At any rate, I'm started and am sure that once I hit my stride, I'll plow through without delay. At least I hope that's what happens.

Marketing Martini helped by Podcasting for Dummies

I needed some good cheer today, and it came in form of an email from Bill:

I just wanted to thank you so much for the great job you did co-writing Podcasting for Dummies. Your book was very useful to me in planning and launching my Internet marketing podcast, Marketing Martini, which after only a few months is now in the top 10 on iTunes for Business & Marketing.

No, thank you, Bill. I'm very happy that you count us among the reasons for your success. And you have no idea how much I needed to hear this today. :)

Podcasting for Dummies picked up for German translation release!

Good news from the publisher! Which I should have posted days ago! And what's with all the exclamation points!?

But yes, the book has been licensed for translation into German. My son is in his second year of German. Wonder if I should have him proof it?

Oh, and I did I mention that Tee and I are writing the second book? It's called Expert Podcasting for Dummies and we're just now getting started.

Finally BTW... yes, it's April 1st. But no, neither of these announcements is a joke. How un-Evo of me.