Asperger's for the social networking crowd?

Image by august allen via FlickrTime for me to make up a new word:

Sociatize (soh-shit-IZE): verb, transitive. The act of converting any event into a social networking opportunity.

Let's say you found out members of your book club were going to a movie you didn't want to see. You wouldn't go along with them, sitting and reading your book in the corner with a flashlight, right?

Let's say you found out that members of your knitting circle were going out to eat sushi. You're not a fan of sushi, but you wouldn't show up at the restaurant and knit while others were eating.

Let's say a drinking buddy of yours goes to church every Sunday. You would never show up at his church and offer him a beer.

Commonly accepted rules of human interaction dictate that you not behave in the above manners. You're at the movies. Watch the movie. You're at a restaurant. Eat. You're at church. Don't drink. Sure, you can hang out and chat while you are there (well, not so much at the movies or church, but you get the idea), but you primary function at the event is to participate in the event.

Some social networking enthusiasts forget this.

There are plenty of events for SM people to be very social. To be very chatty. #evfn is an event like this. The primary purpose is to hang out with people and talk. That's it. Oh, and to have a drink or two if you are so inclined. There are legions of events like these. I love to attend them.

But I also like to attend non-social networking events. And if my social networking friends are also in attendance, I'd like them to be participating in the event, too. Watch the event. Listen to the event. Be in the moment of the event. Resist the temptation to sociatize the event. And if the event isn't your cup of tea; don't go. Missing one more chance to interact with your social media circle isn't going to harm anyone. Better yet, it gives you one more thing to ask us about when you see us at the next social event.

I'm off to make up more words. You sit there and wonder if I'm talking about you. Don't make me get the duct tape.

Rape survivor stories wanted

I've been helping Susan Bartelstone get her feet wet in the social media space for several months now. She is the host of her own talk radio program, Crime Prevention 101, aired on the internet radio station Voice America. She's asked me to get the word out about a special show she is doing, and to help her solicit call in guests. So with that:

Image by Steve Rhodes via FlickrAre you a rape or crime survivor who would be willing to relate your story to a wide global audience over the airwaves on the Internet in an effort to further the healing process and perhaps help others in a similar situation?

Looking for call-in guests on 1/17 at 2pm EST on the Crime Prevention 101 Internet talkradio show on VoiceAmerica.com. You'll be speaking with Personal Safety expert and talk show host Susan Bartelstone and the hosts of the Rape Declaration Forum and you'll have free space to explain, in depth, the trauma you suffered and the results and lessons learned. The emphasis is how you've put what happened into perspective and got on with your life.

If interested, the call in number is 866-472-5788. Call-ins can be anonymous (this is guaranteed), if requested.

Susan does a great show. She's pushing 20 years of years as a person safety expert, whether that's preventing identity theft, choosing the right alarm for your home or how to take out the jerk who just tried to steal your purse. Together, we've been pressuring Voice America to release a podcast-version of her show. Yep. Calendar says its 2009.

But in the meantime, she'd make a great guest on your podcast. Her contact details are on her website, FightSafe.com.

co.mments is shutting down

Image by reinvented via FlickrLooks like one of my favorite services on the web -- co.mments -- is shutting down:

co.mments will be shutting down Jan 11, 2009. It’s been a wonderful ride, unfortunately regular upkeep, and our friendly spammers, have turned it into a chore. I need the time and energy to focus on other things, so sadly, I’m going to shutdown the site by the end of this week. Thank you all for your support, Assaf

Crap on a crap cracker. I really enjoyed the service co.mments provided. Leave a comment, add the page to your co.mments profile, and an RSS feed updates each time someone else comes along and comments on that same post.

I'll miss it. I know others will, too. What comment tracking service do you use?

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The fine line between false praise and encouragement

Image by berbercarpet via FlickrThere exists a fine line between false praise and encouragement.

Encouragement is necessary. It provides a positive support while someone is either exploring their creativity of improving their craft. No one is instantly good at anything, so we all naturally go through a development process in anything that we do.

But unlike encouragement, false praise halts development. It incorrectly leads people to believe that they are at the top of their game, and that no further improvements are necessary.

I see this happen all to often in the new media sphere. It's as if some special pass is given. Some bar has been lowered. A general understanding that is simply can't be as good as "traditional" media. And since it can't, then we should have our own devalued sense of quality.

To speak frankly for a moment: fuck that.

I don't think new media has anything to prove to anyone. I think there is plenty of room for huge variations in quality. And I fully understand that we're often examining qualitative aspects. And yes, there is plenty of low quality stuff on the radio, TV, movies, theaters and more. New media shouldn't strive to be traditional media.

In fact, we need to lose those labels for moment. Let's talk about media. And let's use the same scales.

Was the last podcast you were on "one of the finest you've ever been on", or was it simply good? Was that last free book you listened to "better than anything I can buy at the store", or just a good yarn? Was there nothing worthy of fixing? Did they nail it on all points? And are you being honest?

I hereby dub 2009 The Year of Honest Criticism. Wanna join me? Note that this doesn't mean I'll be trashing everything I dislike. I'm not that big of a new media douchebag. But will be giving honest feedback when it's asked for, and I'll moderate my own enthusiasm for things, relying less on superlatives and hyperbole. Reality. Whoa.

Sacred Excerement Chili

Image via WikipediaBecause I made so many mouths water via Twitter prior to my New Years Eve party, here's the recipe for some seriously hot chili. No beans, because that's a hanging offense.

Sacred Excrement Chili - v 2.1^* by Evo Terra

Total cooking time: 6 hours
Serves: 12 - 24, depending on how much they like chili and can handle the heat

Meat

5 lbs pork roast, cut into 1/2" chunks
1 lb pork sausage. If using links, split skin & scrape out filling

Fresh Goodies

4 chipotle peppers, minced
4 large Anaheim peppers, roasted, skinned, seeded & drained. Oh, and chopped.
2 large green bell peppers, seeded & diced
2 large yellow/sweet onions, diced
1 entire bunch of cilantro, chopped. The more, the merrier.
1 bulb (not a clove, the whole bulb) of garlic, crushed or minced
5 stalks of celery, thick cut

Canned Goodies

2 28-oz cans of diced tomatoes
1 15 oz can of tomato sauce
1 15 oz can of beef broth

Seasonings

Between 1/4 teaspoon & 1/2 tablespoon of Habanero chili powder, depending on how much you can handle -- you decide.
May substitute for "normal" chili powder @ 8 tablespoons
2 tablespoons ground cumin
1 teaspoon dried majoram leaves
1 tablespoon dried Mexican oregano leaves
1 tablespoon ground black pepper
1 teaspoon salt

Secret Ingredients

1 cup raisins
2 cups steel cut oats

Directions

Combine Meat (do not brown first), Fresh Goodies & canned tomatoes (not the tomato sauce) into large cooking pot. Mix well & slowly bring mixture to a boil, then quickly reduce heat to a simmer.

Add tomato sauce, broth and all Seasonings (go easy on the Habanero to start, remember it's easy to add, not take out) to a blender. Blend. Pour over and mix well in the simmering pot.

Cover & stir occasionally, making sure to not allow any burning on the bottom.

After 2 hours, add Secret Ingredients.

Continue cooking & stirring for an additional 4 hours. Add additional oats to increase thickness as necessary.

Serve with whatever else you want in your chili. But I highly recommend tasting it first. Oh, and having a beer handy. 'Tis a touch warm -- of temperature and of spice.

That's it. And once you have it, you'll know why it's called Sacred Excrement Chili. And if you're still unsure, buy a thesaurus.

Change Log:

• 1/21/09 - Added variable amounts for habanero powder

This recipe borrows heavily from "The" Chili Recipe (v 1.2) from Russ Kerlin.

7 facts about me that you probably don't care about

Image by brungrrl via FlickrIt was only matter of time. Dean OUlette (funny name for a Texas fan) tagged me for the most recent reincarnation of this meme. OK. I'll play.

But for a guy that lives pretty much online and it's remotely bashful or shy, it's kinda tough. So I'll try and pull up seven things that aren't always visible to those who don't spend IRL time with me.

1. I'm easily pissed when my integrity is called into question. I have plenty of bad qualities. And I often act in my best interest. But that never involves stepping on or shitting on people. The intrinsic altruistic inclinations of our species got us this far. I see no reason to go against 3.5 billion years of evolution.¹
   
   
2. I'm a huge procrastinator. No, seriously. Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow? It's my least attractive trait and one that drives The Lovely Wife terribly insane. I'm quite productive, but oftentimes not until the final hour. Stupid, I know.
   
   
3. I often times have no idea what the hell I'm doing. Cat's out of the bag. Guess what? This is how the world operates. We take some skill, some knowledge, and a history of usually doing the right thing -- or a right thing -- and we push forward. This used to sort of creep me out and led me to believe that the universe was looking out for me or something. Now I realize that I'm probably just good at identifying the bad possible choices and then choosing a non-bad one. Out of many. There may have been -- and probably was -- a better one. But unless you live in a parallel universe... prove it!
   
   
4. I'm the exact opposite of pack rat. I don't collect anything. I don't save anything. In fact, I probably throw out something important or possibly valuable at least once a week. I'd be perfectly happy living a completely minimalistic lifestyle. Others who I've chosen to share my life with, however...
   
   
5. I loath going to the dentist. Seriously. I'd rather visit a proctologist on a daily basis than go to the dentist. Oddly enough, I've never had a dentist cause me a huge amount of pain. But I watched my wife get her wisdom teeth pulled by Dr. Marques de Sade some 20 years ago. After that, I'm a total wuss. She's fine with it. Odd, I tell you.
   
   
6. I cannot abide going in circles. Merry-go-rounds make me sick. Spinning around more than once makes me nauseous. Tilt-o-Whril? Are you kidding me? I have to turn my head in the theater when they do a spinning-overhead shot. Yes. It's that bad.
   
   
7. I make really good chili. No beans, thank you very much. It's called Sacred Excrement chili, because you will say holy shit when you eat it. Not for the faint of heart. In fact, I have to make a batch tomorrow. Looks like a trip to the store is imminent!

But before I go, the rules of this engagement require me to tag seven others:

• Derek P. Gilbert
  
• Lejon Prime
  
• Basil Sands
  
• Steve & Emily Baxter
  
• Keith T. Garner
  
• Mandy Garr
  
• Betsy Smith

(I subscribe to all of your blogs, so I'll know if you didn't do it...)

I then am to post the rules for this meme. (The comments in brackets are mine own.)

1. Link your original tagger(s) and list these rules in your post. [check]
   
2. Share seven facts about yourself in the post. [check]
   
3. Tag seven people at the end of your post by leaving their names and the links to their blogs. [check]
   
4. Let them know they’ve been tagged. [wtf? doesn't everyone have ego filters?]

^{1 - The earth has been around for 4.5 billion years, true. But it was sterile for the first 1 million years or so.}

Do you tweet... like I do?

Image by CRASH-candy via FlickrNewsflash #1: anyone claiming proficiency in any aspect of social media is making it up as they go along. Present company included.

Resist the temptation to alter your behavior because Social Media Expert suggested you do so. For every gem presented, the schmee (my word, run with it) probably exhibits one or more traits of deplorable activity. That should indicate to you the schmee (or this schmee) isn't perfect. Which is rather obvious, as this medium is designed imperfection.

But don't ignore their advice. If something is worth the wadded panties they suffered, it probably bears examination your part. They may not be perfect, but they aren't stupid.

Case in point: Chris Brogan's latest rant on "robot behavior". I'm long-time user of an auto reply for new followers on Twitter. Yet I agree with much of what Chris had to say. Counter-intuitive? Maybe. But I see auto replies as a tool; the difference is made in how you wield it. And just by typing the word difference, it is implied that that difference -- a change from state A to state B -- can be measured.

Newsflash #2: Yes, social media can be measured. In a myriad of ways.

In my case, the numbers weren't proving out my intended goal. So I modified my auto reply. I changed how I use the tool. In my case, I abandoned the first goal (not all that important to me).

If your auto reply on Twitter is designed to cause someone to take action; measure those actions. If it's working, great! Keep on keepin' on. But if it's not... well then you have some thinking ahead of you. Maybe your audience doesn't want to take that action. At least not in this environment. Maybe it's just not how they want to interact with you. Or maybe they really do only care about what you tweet. Not your free ebook. Not your blog. Not the "personal" video you made just for them.

Bottom line: not all auto replies are evil. But most are worthless. Because I said.

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