Debut novelist kills first-time sushi chef

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I engaged in an interesting experiment today. And now that I'm done wanting to bang my head against the sharp corner of my desk, I find  the results interesting.

This started with me seeing an ad for a terrible-looking book with a terrible-sounding title with terribly-written teaser copy and a terribly-illustrated cover¹. And if that wasn't enough, the words "DEBUT NOVELIST" were proudly on display.

Ugh.

By now you know that I'm deeply involved in yet another publishing initiative, this time focused on training/educating authors on the new digital publishing landscape of today. Glutton for punishment? That's me.

And it was with that eye that I realized: authors and publishers have imbued the word debut with legendary status. I've seen that word -- or heard that word -- associated with new books by new authors countless times.

The amazing debut novel from... Ground-breaking  work by debut novelist...

The marketer in me² couldn't let it go. Was that word somehow a trigger that publishers and authors have learned enhances the purchasing response? Would adding the word "debut" to a book somehow increase the chance of someone deciding to purchase the book?

So I did the only logical thing that a skeptic would do: I ran the most unscientific test I could devise in the 3.4 seconds I thought about it. I asked FACEBOOK!

My first attempt was met with abject failure. I asked the following question:

Dumb-ass me. I of course got plenty of answers like "A" and "B". [sigh] So I resolved to re-write the question in somewhat of a less ambiguous way. Hence my new missive:

This time I learned an interesting and valuable lesson: People don't fucking read! Not that they don't read books, mind you. They just don't read questions well. Or rather, they try and anticipate some hidden meaning behind your question. Worse still, they play out a whole conspiratorial scene in their head, crafting their answer as to somehow keep them in good graces with whatever group might read too much into the answer.

Just. Answer. The. Fucking. Question!

Yes, I had an answer I was trying to get to, you idiot! But it was not whether or not I see value in a new authors work. Nor was I trying to infer that you should only stick to the books you know. Nor do I give a shit about how many new authors you discovered because you took the chance on an unknown. News flash, dipshit: I've done the same fucking thing! As I said before:

Just. Answer. The. Fucking. Question!

So I decided to show just how inane the answers were. Because really, in no other purchasing decision I can think of is it ever, EVER, beneficial to shout out to the masses, "Holy hatshit, folks! Hurry up and give me all your money while I'm new, clueless and PERFECT, 'cuz I'll be worth dick-squat when I take a second swing!"

That just doesn't happen. And to prove my point, I sent out this slightly tweaked question to the Facebookers who have the bad sense to follow me:

Yes. That is the point I was trying to make. You dumb-ass, you. And to drive it home more, there's this:

Authors and publishers: Please, pretty please, with sugar on it. Stop adding the word "debut" to your books. I already know I don't know you. You're not helping things telling me it's your first book. You may think that is somehow a buying signal, especially if you read the comments left on my status updates. But I assure you this: all of those people are lying. Through their teeth. Don't get me wrong. They have the best intentions at heart and do not even know that they are lying. Kinda like many psychics. But it's a lie none the same.

Write. Get better. Write again. Rinse. Repeat. Publish as soon as you can, for a back-catalog is key. But stop putting a barrier to entry on me trying out your book. It's great that it's your first book. Impress your mom with that shit. Me? I just want you to be a decent writer. Telling me you're new at this doesn't tempt me to buy. It just makes me think you probably suck. So icks-nay on the oobie-nu-ay, OK?

 

^{1 - No, I won't put you through the trauma of showing you the book. I've wiped it from my memory. You are welcome.}

^{2 - Don't hate, motherfuckers. It puts food on the table and I'm not evil.}

Clients and consultants both bring skills to the table

Image by badlogik via Flickr

As a consultant, I get to work with a wide range of clients. My sweet spot is in transitional periods with an emphasis on making the transition to digital. Last year, I had the pleasure of working with a C-suite executive transitioning from a 30+ years at a single company to launching his own business initiative.

Like many fledgling businesses, this new venture suffered from perception problems. In this case, those deeply involved in the industry -- his potential client base -- didn't recognize the change his venture offered. His was not a case of solving a symptom rather than a problem. In his case, consumers were clamoring for the change but the industry was slow, if not flat out reluctant, to respond.

Together, we collaborated on a communication plan to get those reluctant C-suite executives in the space exposed to the change. The communications would also serve as ammunition for more progressive executives in the space pushing for similar change. I'll admit it was a challenge for me to come down from the bleeding edge and understanding how his peers both consumed and shared information.

Blend your smarts with your clients' smarts.

While I had spent over a decade in the same industry and was incredibly close to the change he was counting on for his new business, his knowledge of the inner-workings the C-suite was invaluable to the success of the initiative. This was an audience for whom the height of communication was checking -- though probably not sending -- email on their company-supplied Blackberry. So you can imagine I didn't lead with an effort to gain a top placement on Digg.

And it's working. The success of our rather complex plan and his overall business model hinged on getting meaningful exposure. He's now a contributing author for the industry's top publication. His words are now directly communicated to his peer group, whether they read the magazine offline (and you can't walk into any of these people's office without seeing the most current issue) or online. Not with ads. Not with stories of doom and gloom if they don't adapt. But with logical, well-thought and reasoned discussions on the changing nature what consumers have come to expect and how the industry can make subtle shifts to give them what they want.

If you care about how the internet is changing the tire industry, Mike has that and other articles posted in the last few months on Modern Tire Dealer.

Now... how can I help you?