Monday, September 27, 2010

Why my movie watching habits are better than yours

I clearly am not the target for Hollywood movie studios. Of the some 500 movies that came out this year, I've seen eight. Eight. Rarely do I bother paying any attention to the Oscars, as I've likely not seen any of those up for best picture. This isn't a new phenomenon. I thought Full Metal Jacket was comedic, didn't waste my time with Titanic, and still get Goodwill Hunting and Cider House Rules confused.

It seems I'm not all that mainstream. Go figure. But I do enjoy movies. Sometimes that movie is one currently being enjoyed by the masses. But more often than not... not. Here's what I've seen or am planning on seeing this year:

  • Shutter Island - Knew something was wrong 10 minutes in. Figured out Di Caprio was an inmate in half an hour, then spent the rest of the movie wondering how they'd tie it together. It was OK.
  • Kick Ass - Pretty fantastic overall. Ending was meh. I'll likely end up owning this one.
  • The Karate Kid - Hey, it was this or some crappy M. Knight Shamalamadingdong movie. 7-year-old niece/nephew combos must at times be appeased.
  • The A-Team - A good romp. More a re-imagining than a remake, since I have a stanch NO REMAKES policy. Don't take your physics book with you.
  • Inception - I liked this because it kept me guessing. But in hindsight, it sure seemed a long way to go for the desired outcome.
  • Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World - Major disappointment here. It's almost as if I'm not enough of a geek to have enjoyed it. Sorry.
  • Jackass 3D coming soon - Sometimes, you have to let the id have its day. Don't make fun, or I'll punch you in the junk. With a SCUBA tank filled with Cool-Whip™ or something equally as unexpected.
  • Tron: Legacy coming soon - The expectation bar is set rather high on this one. I want "Empire Strikes Back", not "Beneath Planet of the Apes", OK? Or there will be hell to pay.

But as I look back -- and forward -- at those, they all pale in comparison to my two favorite movies by far for 2010:
  • The Human Centipede
  • Machete

[caption id="attachment_1522" align="alignleft" width="128" caption="One of my favorite films in 2010 that you probably won\'t see."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1523" align="alignleft" width="128" caption="Another of my favorite films in 2010 that you probably won\'t see."][/caption]

I love these movies primarily for the same reason: You probably didn't want to see them until some nutjob like me started going on ad nauseum about them. And then you probably still didn't go see either. That is why I love these movies. They are polarizing. Much like Snakes on a Plane, you know in a moment if that's a movie you want to see or not, and no amount of cajoling from those on the other side will cause you to waver in your decision. That. Is. Cool.

Both are made of awesome. Both are a kind of movie making and story-telling I deeply enjoy. And neither will be represented at this years Oscars. And I love that.


  1. Disappointing to hear Scott Pilgrim wasn't that great.

    I despise you for ever suggesting or telling me about Human Centipede. Reading about it on Wikipedia was enough to make me sick.

    Strangely, I'm stoked to see Machete, though.

    Oh, and Tron Legacy? I didn't even LIKE Tron and I can't wait to watch it.

  2. yeah, so just so I can have a coherent conversation about this with someone - I'm watching Human Centipede right now. I'll fill you in with the details when I'm done.

  3. 30 minutes in - and I'm disturbed but not yet disgusted.
    he's describing the surgery now though so I'm assuming that's coming.

  4. this may be the baddest bad guy of all time. Halfway point - and I'm strangely captivated by the villain - Dr Heiter is horribly awesome.

  5. so how does one convince an actor to be Dr Heiter - I'm assuming there was alcohol involved. There was when I decided to watch this.

  6. so the japanese guy at the front - he asks why the guy locked them in the cage, then says he's crazy. So the sewing two tourist chicks to you asshole wasn't the first clue he was crazy? -1 for realism there.

  7. very close to quitting here. the first feeding.

  8. wow. I'm not entirely sure that was worth my 90 minutes - but wow. definitely some sick shit but no worse that the Saw movies from what I've heard of those. Just less ultraviolence and more ass to mouth action. I still hate you for suggesting I watch it, but its my own (and the beers' ) fault that I did so.

    PS if you don't go as dr heider for halloween I'll be very disappointed.

  9. Is that not the baddest-assed lab coat of all time?


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